The Stigma – “No Offense But…”

I’m usually the biggest person everywhere I go. The anxiety of going anywhere in public is debilitating most days. To top it off, conversations with other people turn into me trying to not feel ashamed of myself. Do you know that feeling? As soon as I hear, “No offense but”, I brace myself to not be offended. My stomach drops, my face burns, and I try not to show how uncomfortable I am. What follows is a comment about how a fat person ruined there experience. How the fat person was embarrassed by this thing or that because of their size. It’s just so funny and we need to discuss it. Sometimes I’m that person. It’s humiliating. It’s not ok to treat people like that. Being shunned because of your size hurts. Being judged and treated differently hurts. Being fat is already awkward and hard. Add to that the fact that I’m a black female and it’s the perfect storm. The quest to just be able to live my life is unbearable most days. One thing people don’t know is that I fight everyday to just show up. Every time I get out of bed is a win. I don’t need you beating me down. Go fix your own life. Just like I have my own demons, you have yours. If you don’t, you will. Nothing about me is a joke.

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The Mission

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I’m almost 40 years old and in the worst shape of my life. Anxiety, stress, and unhealthy relationships have taken a toll on me. It’s sad. My wake up call was realizing that I was letting circumstances and people decide whether I should be happy or not. Now I have a voice. My health is a priority and this is my journey. My weight is 306 lbs. I know, I know. That’s a lot of weight for someone that is only 5 ft 5 in. The only way out is through! The following goals need to be completed between Saturday, May 18th and Friday, May 24th.

  1. 3 Walking Workouts
  2. 2 Kickboxing Workouts
  3. Track all food and calories
  4. Journal each day

If you’re reading this and need to make a few changes in your life, I invite you to join me on the mission. As I progress, there will be other changes and challenges. Learning to adapt is a part of life. I’m done hiding.